I'm sitting in bed watching a spectacular sunrise, two 'lasts' creating an extending list of things that won't happen again until I return in 8 months' time. Last sunrise in NZ, last morning in this room and bed, last opportunity for my favourite cat to snuggle up with me, last proper sleep for 40+ hours... Soon we'll have our last morning prayer and praise together. There is a touch of sadness, but also great excitement.
It has been quite wonderful to see the Lord's provision in these last few weeks, and no less in the last three days. Unsolicited financial support has been offered, and right out of the blue, a back-country church with members who have known my family for years sent a donation through my parents.
Now I need to do the final packing, make my room look somewhat tidier, and move into my room all my stuff that still lives in the hall... hmm, that will probably cancel the 'tidy' bit... hehe.
Borneo, here I come!
28 April, 2010
24 April, 2010
Faithful as Promised - the Swim to Shore
What a week! I started it with no money, no passport, no visa, no flights to Auckland, no insurance, no way of getting to Rangiora for an appointment for the final vaccination, no... You get the picture.
Last Saturday, a meeting with my pastors established that I am ready to go - as long as the funds and documentation all fall into place in time! To cut a long story short - the Lord has proved Himself faithful over and over again, and I'm definitely taking off this coming Wednesday. Hallelujah!
Tuesday was a challenge. My final vaccination was booked in Rangiora for 3pm. We have three vehicles, but all the registrations were overdue so we couldn't go anywhere, and only one had enough fuel for the trip anyway. Also in mind was the fact that the next day my mother was arriving for a couple of nights and would need to be collected from the airport. During our morning prayer and praise, Jesus took me back to the pinnacle above the sea (see "Solving the Freak-Out Moments", March 29), but when I clung to Him, He held me away and said with excitement and laughter in His voice and a twinkle in His eyes, "Are you ready? Are you ready?" With dawning hope and delight I replied, "Ready for what?" It was time to dive off the pinnacle and swim past the sea monsters to shore. Ai-yi-yi! As long as He was going with me, you bet I was ready!
The dive took place that day. I needed a ride to Rangiora and back, but I felt the Lord was saying to just wait. Shane said he was getting the same message, but around lunchtime, I was beginning to stress, and wondering if the Lord was going to say He actually wanted me to fly at a later date (which didn't actually make any sense considering how He'd already organized everything to date, but the mind does odd things when under pressure), or whether I was supposed to be making some phonecalls looking for rides, etc. I was close to tears and fighting the desire to put the whole trip in the too-hard basket and go and hibernate for a couple of months. About 1pm I did make one call, but the lady wasn't home. I said I'd ring back in half an hour. Turns out the Lord was making sure I didn't do things any way but His. Within 20 minutes a vehicle pulled up our driveway and tooted the horn. Somebody who didn't make a habit of dropping in on their way through town had followed a prompting from the Lord to come and see what we needed. The result was that we had one car re-registered and with enough fuel for a trip to Rangiora, two trips to the airport, and more besides. Praise the Lord! It does pay to be obedient when the Lord says, "Just wait."
When I arrived home from Rangiora, I found that my new passport had arrived. Now I needed $70 plus courier fees so that I could send the passport away to Wellington again, this time to the Indonesian Embassy for a travel visa. I needed to have it on its way on Thursday at latest so that it would be ready in time. Glory be to God again! A friend of my mother, who we visited on the way back from the airport, having no idea of my circumstances except that I was going on a mission trip to Borneo, donated enough to cover the visa application plus some of the ticket price to Auckland. The visa application was sent on Thursday morning.
Now I just had to find a way of collecting it in Wellington on my way north rather than hoping they would courier it back in time. With the Lord's help it is all working out. My tickets to Auckland are booked; I am flying from Christchurch to Wellington. A relative who lives there is going to collect my documents from the embassy and deliver them to me at the Wellington airport, where I have a 3-hour wait. I am blessed to know so many wonderful people! I then fly from Wellington to Auckland, where I have another 3 hours before I need to meet my travel companions so we can check-in for our international flight together. It's great to have that sorted!
I have also been gifted a new, light-weight suitcase suitable for this trip. My old one weighs about 5kg when empty, which is not conducive to packing for a 20kg baggage allowance. My new one is also bright blue, which makes it much easier to spot on the luggage conveyors. =)
The funding for the first two months, promised some time ago, has been deposited, and someone else has promised to continue the weekly accommodation allowance once that is used up. That rather took my breath away and I had to have the statement repeated slowly... hehe.
There are a few things still needed, but after such timely provision by the Lord all week (and for the last however many months!), what can I do but trust Him completely? I remember that we have made that scary dive from the pinnacle and are swimming to shore, safely past all the sea monsters, and it won't be long before we are on secure ground again, ready to face...what? The jungles of Borneo, no doubt! Lol.
Today I am supposed to be doing a trial run of packing, but so far I've done lots of other things instead. I hate packing. =(
Not only has God provided; He has done what I said I would like Him to do: cut things fine so that it would only be possible for Him to accomplish it, so that only He would be glorified. It certainly hasn't been easy or quite comfortable, but it's been wonderful all the same. I love to serve such a mighty, powerful, faithful, and caring God!
Last Saturday, a meeting with my pastors established that I am ready to go - as long as the funds and documentation all fall into place in time! To cut a long story short - the Lord has proved Himself faithful over and over again, and I'm definitely taking off this coming Wednesday. Hallelujah!
Tuesday was a challenge. My final vaccination was booked in Rangiora for 3pm. We have three vehicles, but all the registrations were overdue so we couldn't go anywhere, and only one had enough fuel for the trip anyway. Also in mind was the fact that the next day my mother was arriving for a couple of nights and would need to be collected from the airport. During our morning prayer and praise, Jesus took me back to the pinnacle above the sea (see "Solving the Freak-Out Moments", March 29), but when I clung to Him, He held me away and said with excitement and laughter in His voice and a twinkle in His eyes, "Are you ready? Are you ready?" With dawning hope and delight I replied, "Ready for what?" It was time to dive off the pinnacle and swim past the sea monsters to shore. Ai-yi-yi! As long as He was going with me, you bet I was ready!
The dive took place that day. I needed a ride to Rangiora and back, but I felt the Lord was saying to just wait. Shane said he was getting the same message, but around lunchtime, I was beginning to stress, and wondering if the Lord was going to say He actually wanted me to fly at a later date (which didn't actually make any sense considering how He'd already organized everything to date, but the mind does odd things when under pressure), or whether I was supposed to be making some phonecalls looking for rides, etc. I was close to tears and fighting the desire to put the whole trip in the too-hard basket and go and hibernate for a couple of months. About 1pm I did make one call, but the lady wasn't home. I said I'd ring back in half an hour. Turns out the Lord was making sure I didn't do things any way but His. Within 20 minutes a vehicle pulled up our driveway and tooted the horn. Somebody who didn't make a habit of dropping in on their way through town had followed a prompting from the Lord to come and see what we needed. The result was that we had one car re-registered and with enough fuel for a trip to Rangiora, two trips to the airport, and more besides. Praise the Lord! It does pay to be obedient when the Lord says, "Just wait."
When I arrived home from Rangiora, I found that my new passport had arrived. Now I needed $70 plus courier fees so that I could send the passport away to Wellington again, this time to the Indonesian Embassy for a travel visa. I needed to have it on its way on Thursday at latest so that it would be ready in time. Glory be to God again! A friend of my mother, who we visited on the way back from the airport, having no idea of my circumstances except that I was going on a mission trip to Borneo, donated enough to cover the visa application plus some of the ticket price to Auckland. The visa application was sent on Thursday morning.
Now I just had to find a way of collecting it in Wellington on my way north rather than hoping they would courier it back in time. With the Lord's help it is all working out. My tickets to Auckland are booked; I am flying from Christchurch to Wellington. A relative who lives there is going to collect my documents from the embassy and deliver them to me at the Wellington airport, where I have a 3-hour wait. I am blessed to know so many wonderful people! I then fly from Wellington to Auckland, where I have another 3 hours before I need to meet my travel companions so we can check-in for our international flight together. It's great to have that sorted!
I have also been gifted a new, light-weight suitcase suitable for this trip. My old one weighs about 5kg when empty, which is not conducive to packing for a 20kg baggage allowance. My new one is also bright blue, which makes it much easier to spot on the luggage conveyors. =)
The funding for the first two months, promised some time ago, has been deposited, and someone else has promised to continue the weekly accommodation allowance once that is used up. That rather took my breath away and I had to have the statement repeated slowly... hehe.
There are a few things still needed, but after such timely provision by the Lord all week (and for the last however many months!), what can I do but trust Him completely? I remember that we have made that scary dive from the pinnacle and are swimming to shore, safely past all the sea monsters, and it won't be long before we are on secure ground again, ready to face...what? The jungles of Borneo, no doubt! Lol.
Today I am supposed to be doing a trial run of packing, but so far I've done lots of other things instead. I hate packing. =(
Not only has God provided; He has done what I said I would like Him to do: cut things fine so that it would only be possible for Him to accomplish it, so that only He would be glorified. It certainly hasn't been easy or quite comfortable, but it's been wonderful all the same. I love to serve such a mighty, powerful, faithful, and caring God!
16 April, 2010
Getting Creative with God
Up until this week, most of my creativity and a lot of my time has gone into cross-stitch needlework. This week has brought a lot of variation to that - in fact, I don't think I have placed a single stitch in the last 5 or 6 days. On Sunday, Belinda was given a collection of card-making equipment. She already had some herself, but the gift both prompted activity and enabled greater variation in the creativity. Accordingly, the two of us plus another friend sat down on Tuesday afternoon to make greeting cards. It was such fun! By the end of the day I had created 7 different cards. One of them didn't please me at all, so the next day I cut it up and used parts of it to make two more cards.
Part-way through card number 9 (Wednesday), two of Shane and Belinda's nephews arrived to stay for a few hours. I was able to finish the card and have another underway before I was called upon to eat lunch and then help entertain. The board game "The Game of Life" kept us amused for some time, and then it was the boys' turn to make cards. No chance there for me to continue with my own! But taking the trouble to make a few suggestions, help with the more difficult shape punches, and clean the rubber stamps for them was made doubly worthwhile when both boys decided to make their cards for me. So heartwarming! I was hugely blessed. I've decided I need a scrapbook to put such gifts into. I seem to have begun a collection.
After the boys were collected, it was nice to return to the tranquility of creating my own cards. My 11th was half-finished on the table when I stopped for the evening.
By Thursday my card-making frenzy was slowing down, but I still managed to produce another 3 for a total of 14 - not that I was aiming for a record or anything; I just had so many ideas to try! In the late afternoon, I stopped for some quiet time with God. The result was a creative idea straight from the Word of God. Where better to go for ideas than to the Creator? It wasn't long before I was back at the table, this time busy with a pencil as I scribbled down the ideas He had given me. The plan for a collage picture had taken shape. Later, during our evening prayer and praise, the Holy Spirit continued to inspire me in the formation and content of the picture, giving me the title for it and making the purpose of the picture clear. I then laid it aside to work on it today.
That was my plan this morning: work on the plan for the collage. I'll probably create the actual picture when I return from Borneo, but there's plenty of planning to do, and even that will require a lot of patience and perseverance. It's not exactly a simple project. =\ But apart from sellotaping two pieces of scrap A4 together, I got nowhere with it. Another project with a deadline presented itself. I decided to make an anniversary card (15th card in 4 days!) for my pastors who celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary yesterday. Then Shane suggested I make them a gift to go with it: a cross carved from a piece of petrified wood and secured to a block of wood with a Scripture verse written alongside. I was delighted with the idea! So, with Shane as technical advisor, I spent the next 4 or 5 hours in and out of the garage, sanding, polishing, writing, and oiling. The sanding turned my hair white, the polishing wet me to the elbows and sprayed my face, hair, and down my front, I started writing "Revol" (for Revolution) instead of "Revelation" (thankfully, the 'o' adjusted fairly easily to an 'e'), and I probably transferred oil from my fingers to my jeans - but it was heaps of fun! =D Now it is finished (and beautiful), along with the card, and I am creatively exhausted! The collage can wait till tomorrow. Time for some cross-stitch, I think. Hehe.
I love life with the Creator!
Part-way through card number 9 (Wednesday), two of Shane and Belinda's nephews arrived to stay for a few hours. I was able to finish the card and have another underway before I was called upon to eat lunch and then help entertain. The board game "The Game of Life" kept us amused for some time, and then it was the boys' turn to make cards. No chance there for me to continue with my own! But taking the trouble to make a few suggestions, help with the more difficult shape punches, and clean the rubber stamps for them was made doubly worthwhile when both boys decided to make their cards for me. So heartwarming! I was hugely blessed. I've decided I need a scrapbook to put such gifts into. I seem to have begun a collection.
After the boys were collected, it was nice to return to the tranquility of creating my own cards. My 11th was half-finished on the table when I stopped for the evening.
By Thursday my card-making frenzy was slowing down, but I still managed to produce another 3 for a total of 14 - not that I was aiming for a record or anything; I just had so many ideas to try! In the late afternoon, I stopped for some quiet time with God. The result was a creative idea straight from the Word of God. Where better to go for ideas than to the Creator? It wasn't long before I was back at the table, this time busy with a pencil as I scribbled down the ideas He had given me. The plan for a collage picture had taken shape. Later, during our evening prayer and praise, the Holy Spirit continued to inspire me in the formation and content of the picture, giving me the title for it and making the purpose of the picture clear. I then laid it aside to work on it today.
That was my plan this morning: work on the plan for the collage. I'll probably create the actual picture when I return from Borneo, but there's plenty of planning to do, and even that will require a lot of patience and perseverance. It's not exactly a simple project. =\ But apart from sellotaping two pieces of scrap A4 together, I got nowhere with it. Another project with a deadline presented itself. I decided to make an anniversary card (15th card in 4 days!) for my pastors who celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary yesterday. Then Shane suggested I make them a gift to go with it: a cross carved from a piece of petrified wood and secured to a block of wood with a Scripture verse written alongside. I was delighted with the idea! So, with Shane as technical advisor, I spent the next 4 or 5 hours in and out of the garage, sanding, polishing, writing, and oiling. The sanding turned my hair white, the polishing wet me to the elbows and sprayed my face, hair, and down my front, I started writing "Revol" (for Revolution) instead of "Revelation" (thankfully, the 'o' adjusted fairly easily to an 'e'), and I probably transferred oil from my fingers to my jeans - but it was heaps of fun! =D Now it is finished (and beautiful), along with the card, and I am creatively exhausted! The collage can wait till tomorrow. Time for some cross-stitch, I think. Hehe.
I love life with the Creator!
15 April, 2010
Pyjama Party with God
I am pleased to say that I do not live an ordinary life, and last night I had another extraordinary experience with God. Soon after 8:30pm, Shane and Belinda realized that the programme we were watching was a repeat, so it was turned off and we began a time of praise and worship - much to my delight; I love these times of corporate communion with our Lord. Using the "Songs of Fellowship" songbook, we carried on from where we had left off on the previous occasion, working through the "I" and "J" sections. Lol, that sounds quite pedantic, but I assure you it wasn't in the least! We had a wonderful time with the Lord and then discussing what He had said, done, and is doing, and generally reveling in the presence of God and the joy of being in His perfect will. It was after 11pm by the time we somewhat reluctantly headed for bed.
It was even later by the time I was finally settled in bed waiting for sleep, but as often happens, while most of me was enjoying the rest, my head was wide awake. Seems I wasn't the only one, though. A few minutes later, Shane came to share something important that the Lord had just told him. He went back to bed, and the house became quiet again. Then close to midnight, I heard Belinda moving around, saw a light switched on, and soon realized that both were in the lounge. The sound of pages turning indicated that at least one of them was reading the Bible. Being still wide awake myself, I considered joining them. And then an interesting thing happened: the thought came to mind, "Get up and join us." I wasn't sure if I thought it myself or if it was God speaking, but I promptly swung out of bed. Not quite certain yet, I waited in my doorway for a minute or so, then headed to the bathroom first. On the way back I casually paused in the lounge doorway and asked, "Is this exclusive?" I didn't really think it was, and I was right; they laughed and welcomed me. And then began the extraordinary part of the night. For the next three hours we stayed up, just to be in the Lord's presence. Three people dressed in night clothes plus socks plus an extra layer or two, occasionally singing, often in silent communion, sometimes talking, and wearing perpetual goofy grins... and all because it wasn't just us in that room. God's presence filled the room, and His pleasure in our company flowed over us.
Do you realize how much God loves it when we worship Him? The call that got me out of bed should have been written, "Get up and join Us!" because it was Jesus calling me to join a sort of divine pyjama party. Since we had never really left His presence and that sense of worship, by the time we again went to bed we had spent over 6 hours in praise and worship. That's a first for me! Is that extraordinary? Yes! Wonderfully so! But the best part is that while we get so much out of it, God also takes great pleasure in it. He longs for every one of us to come and commune with Him. No, He doesn't always call us to spend most of the night in worship, but when He does call you, do you run to Him in joy?
This hasn't actually changed the fact that we have no money, nor the related challenges we face each day, but with constant experiences like this, living this extraordinary life that God has called me to, I know that there is no way I would walk away from this. There is absolutely nothing to equal walking with God. Absolutely nothing!
PS. God is calling you to an extraordinary life with Him, too! Do say yes! (c:
It was even later by the time I was finally settled in bed waiting for sleep, but as often happens, while most of me was enjoying the rest, my head was wide awake. Seems I wasn't the only one, though. A few minutes later, Shane came to share something important that the Lord had just told him. He went back to bed, and the house became quiet again. Then close to midnight, I heard Belinda moving around, saw a light switched on, and soon realized that both were in the lounge. The sound of pages turning indicated that at least one of them was reading the Bible. Being still wide awake myself, I considered joining them. And then an interesting thing happened: the thought came to mind, "Get up and join us." I wasn't sure if I thought it myself or if it was God speaking, but I promptly swung out of bed. Not quite certain yet, I waited in my doorway for a minute or so, then headed to the bathroom first. On the way back I casually paused in the lounge doorway and asked, "Is this exclusive?" I didn't really think it was, and I was right; they laughed and welcomed me. And then began the extraordinary part of the night. For the next three hours we stayed up, just to be in the Lord's presence. Three people dressed in night clothes plus socks plus an extra layer or two, occasionally singing, often in silent communion, sometimes talking, and wearing perpetual goofy grins... and all because it wasn't just us in that room. God's presence filled the room, and His pleasure in our company flowed over us.
Do you realize how much God loves it when we worship Him? The call that got me out of bed should have been written, "Get up and join Us!" because it was Jesus calling me to join a sort of divine pyjama party. Since we had never really left His presence and that sense of worship, by the time we again went to bed we had spent over 6 hours in praise and worship. That's a first for me! Is that extraordinary? Yes! Wonderfully so! But the best part is that while we get so much out of it, God also takes great pleasure in it. He longs for every one of us to come and commune with Him. No, He doesn't always call us to spend most of the night in worship, but when He does call you, do you run to Him in joy?
This hasn't actually changed the fact that we have no money, nor the related challenges we face each day, but with constant experiences like this, living this extraordinary life that God has called me to, I know that there is no way I would walk away from this. There is absolutely nothing to equal walking with God. Absolutely nothing!
PS. God is calling you to an extraordinary life with Him, too! Do say yes! (c:
09 April, 2010
Wahoo! Yeehaa!
Behold my excitement! LOL. I have first-hand evidence of Matthew 6:33, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." Only hours after I wrote "Letting Go but Holding Tight" the Lord provided $500! [Thanks to the donor, also!] I had such fun yesterday getting some things done and feeling business-like. I came home from the bank with a fistful of twenty-dollar notes - a long time since any of us had seen that much cash! Vaccinations are now happening next Monday, I have enough fuel to get there and back, the car's registration doesn't run out until the next day so I'll still be driving legally (gotta love that timing!), my passport photos have been witnessed, the renewal application filled out, and posted with the required documentation. I also spent some time online answering emails and checking out travel visa requirements. Hmm, I need proof that I have sufficient funds to last me while I'm away. That should prove interesting, hehe. I wait with excitement to see what God will do next.
An odd thing is that it's actually more of a challenge having some money than having none. Or maybe that should be: having some money. It would be so much simpler if God just provided the whole blooming lot and let us get on with it! With absolutely nothing, all I could do was leave it all in God's hands and sit back and relax. With a portion provided, I have to do something with it, and suddenly the possibilities for mistakes and waste are felt. Asking for wisdom becomes imperative, and I have to turn my mind away from all the other things I need but cannot use this money for.
Life is such a joy. I continue to trust God to bring things to pass in His time and way.
Zipidee-doo-dah, zipidee-day... :-D
An odd thing is that it's actually more of a challenge having some money than having none. Or maybe that should be: having some money. It would be so much simpler if God just provided the whole blooming lot and let us get on with it! With absolutely nothing, all I could do was leave it all in God's hands and sit back and relax. With a portion provided, I have to do something with it, and suddenly the possibilities for mistakes and waste are felt. Asking for wisdom becomes imperative, and I have to turn my mind away from all the other things I need but cannot use this money for.
Life is such a joy. I continue to trust God to bring things to pass in His time and way.
Zipidee-doo-dah, zipidee-day... :-D
07 April, 2010
Letting Go but Holding Tight
It's disturbing how often one can think one has given absolutely everything into God's care, that one is fully content to let Him do everything His way only, and then find that there is still something in which one is holding back or restricting Him in some way. That was me over the last couple of days. Excitement and expectancy really high, money so low that one account has gone into the red and the other has 16 cents in it (nobody else in the house has money either), and an appointment for travel vaccinations due at 4:15pm on Tuesday (yesterday). With visions and words from the Lord indicating that the time for things to start happening was very close, I went to bed Monday night without any doubts of God's ability to provide the couple of hundred necessary for the medical visit.
Tuesday morning still nothing had happened and Shane told me I would need to cancel the appointment. I didn't want to. I REALLY didn't want to! I hadn't realized it, but having that appointment gave me a false security, because God would need to do things within a certain timeframe - MY timeframe. I was trying to hold God hostage with an appointment I knew I needed, but that I had no way of getting to (insufficient fuel) or paying for. Yep, that's ridiculous!
On top of that, I was tired, somewhat disappointed, and totally didn't understand what God was up to. My Bible reading had only said "Wait patiently for the Lord," [Ps. 27:14], which because of the depressed sort of mood I was in, I wouldn't see as a message from the Lord until later, so add "The Lord didn't say anything to me today" to the mix, and I was one chirpy chick... or not!
Yet I still trusted God. I knew that He had brought me this far, and He would not desert me in the middle. I knew He would fulfill His promises to us - in His perfect time. It felt a bit like Abraham killing his son of the promise, Isaac, but I made the call and cancelled the appointment. Does this still sound ridiculous? Well it is, but it's amazing how difficult it is to let go of the last little thing, even when it's obvious that there's no point hanging onto it anyway.
Amidst all of this, I knew that I needed to rejoice in the difficult times, be thankful, choose to cling to Jesus rather than freak out... all of that. I still knew that, difficult as it seemed at the moment, I would rather live this way, God's way for me, than do anything else on earth.
I muddled on through the day (a movie and a game of Scattegories were good distractions) until the evening when the three of us spent time with the Lord together. I wasn't the only one who was struggling with all this waiting. As I focussed on the Lord, I told Him that I had let go of everything and wanted to do everything His way, but that I still needed His peace to fill me again. Slowly, as I spent time in His presence, that wonderful peace that passes all understanding began to fill me. I'd got that far when we paused to discuss what the Lord was doing. But I was still lacking the joy, and that was what I asked for as we continued. He gave it, but my willing spirit and weak flesh were still at odds, so in the spirit I was overflowing with songs of praise and worship, but I still felt a bit depressed and heavy-hearted (not helped by a headache that was building on the right side of my head). I headed out to the back deck to make a bit of noise. The rather frigid night air helped clear my head (being inside all day really doesn't help), and the determination to vocalize the songs of praise brought the rest of me into line. I returned to the lounge some minutes later with a light step, clear eyes, and a smile inside. The heavy weight somewhere between my heart and my stomach had gone. My brain had switched back on, and I was in "Bring it on!" mode. Because I had deliberately chosen to rejoice in trial and cling to Jesus for strength, He gave me His joy along with His peace.
Further discussion showed that all three of us had done the same thing. When the storm raged around us and despair was the logical next step, we dug deeper into the Rock that is Jesus (yes I know that's an odd metaphor, but somehow it works). Outwardly, circumstances hadn't changed. I still had pain all over one side of my head. We are still penniless. I still need travel vaccinations and a host of other stuff before I can go to Borneo. (That departure is scheduled for April 28, but if that's not God's date, He can change that too.) We are still waiting. But I know without a shadow of doubt that God has it all under control, that He will do everything in His perfect time, and that He, and only He, will get all the glory. Hurray!
I wouldn't have it any other way.
So what's God doing in your life?
Tuesday morning still nothing had happened and Shane told me I would need to cancel the appointment. I didn't want to. I REALLY didn't want to! I hadn't realized it, but having that appointment gave me a false security, because God would need to do things within a certain timeframe - MY timeframe. I was trying to hold God hostage with an appointment I knew I needed, but that I had no way of getting to (insufficient fuel) or paying for. Yep, that's ridiculous!
On top of that, I was tired, somewhat disappointed, and totally didn't understand what God was up to. My Bible reading had only said "Wait patiently for the Lord," [Ps. 27:14], which because of the depressed sort of mood I was in, I wouldn't see as a message from the Lord until later, so add "The Lord didn't say anything to me today" to the mix, and I was one chirpy chick... or not!
Yet I still trusted God. I knew that He had brought me this far, and He would not desert me in the middle. I knew He would fulfill His promises to us - in His perfect time. It felt a bit like Abraham killing his son of the promise, Isaac, but I made the call and cancelled the appointment. Does this still sound ridiculous? Well it is, but it's amazing how difficult it is to let go of the last little thing, even when it's obvious that there's no point hanging onto it anyway.
Amidst all of this, I knew that I needed to rejoice in the difficult times, be thankful, choose to cling to Jesus rather than freak out... all of that. I still knew that, difficult as it seemed at the moment, I would rather live this way, God's way for me, than do anything else on earth.
I muddled on through the day (a movie and a game of Scattegories were good distractions) until the evening when the three of us spent time with the Lord together. I wasn't the only one who was struggling with all this waiting. As I focussed on the Lord, I told Him that I had let go of everything and wanted to do everything His way, but that I still needed His peace to fill me again. Slowly, as I spent time in His presence, that wonderful peace that passes all understanding began to fill me. I'd got that far when we paused to discuss what the Lord was doing. But I was still lacking the joy, and that was what I asked for as we continued. He gave it, but my willing spirit and weak flesh were still at odds, so in the spirit I was overflowing with songs of praise and worship, but I still felt a bit depressed and heavy-hearted (not helped by a headache that was building on the right side of my head). I headed out to the back deck to make a bit of noise. The rather frigid night air helped clear my head (being inside all day really doesn't help), and the determination to vocalize the songs of praise brought the rest of me into line. I returned to the lounge some minutes later with a light step, clear eyes, and a smile inside. The heavy weight somewhere between my heart and my stomach had gone. My brain had switched back on, and I was in "Bring it on!" mode. Because I had deliberately chosen to rejoice in trial and cling to Jesus for strength, He gave me His joy along with His peace.
Further discussion showed that all three of us had done the same thing. When the storm raged around us and despair was the logical next step, we dug deeper into the Rock that is Jesus (yes I know that's an odd metaphor, but somehow it works). Outwardly, circumstances hadn't changed. I still had pain all over one side of my head. We are still penniless. I still need travel vaccinations and a host of other stuff before I can go to Borneo. (That departure is scheduled for April 28, but if that's not God's date, He can change that too.) We are still waiting. But I know without a shadow of doubt that God has it all under control, that He will do everything in His perfect time, and that He, and only He, will get all the glory. Hurray!
I wouldn't have it any other way.
So what's God doing in your life?
03 April, 2010
Who Shows Up in Your Conversation?
It's quite easy to tell who or what occupies most of a person's time and thoughts. Luke 6:45c, "out of the abundance of his heart his mouth speaks."
The sports enthusiast who can't have a conversation without mentioning rugby.
The car enthusiast who never misses an opportunity to argue about Holden and Ford.
The woman who just has to tell you about her latest shopping bargain.
The young fool who thinks he's a man when he talks about drinking, driving, and women.
The old fool who uses his eyes instead of his mouth to tell you what he's thinking about.
The girl who has just fallen in love and thinks her man is the be-all and end-all, and quotes his opinion at every opportunity.
The person who can't seem to avoid having a dig at their least favourite person, group, or country.
The man who shares a new piece of useless information with you every time you meet.
The aging woman who loves to show off the latest pictures and antics of her grandchildren.
The child who wants to show you her latest toy.
The person who has nothing good to say about life - and says it.
The person who quotes movies you don't remember.
The man who introduces the woman with him as, "This is my wife, ..." and you know the words thrill him.
It's natural to talk about whatever it is you think about, and to speak of the people with whom you spend the most time. I know I do it a lot. When I was living with my family, they figured highest in my conversation. When I left home to go to my first farming job, whenever I went anywhere else I would talk about my job and my employers. When I moved to the South Island, I couldn't open my mouth in company without mentioning my pastor's family, because that was who I hung out with most. Now I never go into company without speaking of the people I live with, Shane and Belinda Osgood, at some point in conversation, probably within the first few sentences. I expect they'll appear frequently in this blog. The people I used to speak about the most still show up regularly in my conversation, but the ones I spend the most time with now are mentioned frequently. It's not that some are more favoured than others (they're all my favourites! hehe), merely that they take up the biggest chunk of my life.
You do have to be careful, though. When you talk about one person more than others, people can get the wrong idea. (I'll have to be careful when I find the right man...LOL) Or they can be just plain bored. But as long as you stop short of boring people, it is a natural process. So natural, in fact, that you can always tell where a person is at by what or whom they talk about.
I have the privilege of hanging out with people who love to spend time with God. Frequently the conversation is turned or started with, "God told me..." or "The Holy Spirit showed me..." or "I asked Jesus this morning..." or "I read in [a passage of Scripture]..." They are happy to talk about what God is doing in their lives. Because I want God to be absolute first in my life, these things are a huge encouragement to me. My favourite ones are, "I had to repent this morning..." and, "What did God say to you?" The former (and rare) statement assures me that someone I honour and whose example I follow is still very human, maintains humility before God, and is prepared to lead by example. The latter (and frequent) question has been highly effective in motivating me into a deeper relationship with God. It can be a little disheartening to answer, "God didn't say anything to me today," but it's downright embarrassing to say, "Um, well, I haven't really been listening to Him." Far better to be able to forestall the question completely by saying, "I had an amazing/interesting/wonderful time with God today...!"
I think I have good reason for talking about these people with others, because it usually goes with talking with others about what God is doing, and there really is no better conversation than a topic that glorifies God. Further, through it I am learning to ask others, "What's God doing in your life?" This really enhances Philippians 4:8 where it says, "Whatsoever things are true...honest...just...pure...lovely...of good report, if there be any virtue...praise, think on these things."
My favourite people show up in my conversation because I want other people to be blessed as I have been blessed. For example, I love my family, and I always wish I could introduce them all to all the other people I meet along life's road. Part of the reason is because they are a part of me, and have had an effect on who I am. To know them, is to know me a little better. Surely God should appear in our conversation for the same reasons! If we know Jesus as we say we do, shouldn't we want other people to know Him too? If you don't want others to know Him, perhaps you don't know Him either. If your ultimate aim is to do and be what God wants you to do and be, then that should come out in your conversation.
I challenge you to take a look at what and who show up in your conversation. Do your favourite topics motivate you and others into a deeper relationship with Jesus ... or with the world?
Psalm 19:14 "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer."
The sports enthusiast who can't have a conversation without mentioning rugby.
The car enthusiast who never misses an opportunity to argue about Holden and Ford.
The woman who just has to tell you about her latest shopping bargain.
The young fool who thinks he's a man when he talks about drinking, driving, and women.
The old fool who uses his eyes instead of his mouth to tell you what he's thinking about.
The girl who has just fallen in love and thinks her man is the be-all and end-all, and quotes his opinion at every opportunity.
The person who can't seem to avoid having a dig at their least favourite person, group, or country.
The man who shares a new piece of useless information with you every time you meet.
The aging woman who loves to show off the latest pictures and antics of her grandchildren.
The child who wants to show you her latest toy.
The person who has nothing good to say about life - and says it.
The person who quotes movies you don't remember.
The man who introduces the woman with him as, "This is my wife, ..." and you know the words thrill him.
It's natural to talk about whatever it is you think about, and to speak of the people with whom you spend the most time. I know I do it a lot. When I was living with my family, they figured highest in my conversation. When I left home to go to my first farming job, whenever I went anywhere else I would talk about my job and my employers. When I moved to the South Island, I couldn't open my mouth in company without mentioning my pastor's family, because that was who I hung out with most. Now I never go into company without speaking of the people I live with, Shane and Belinda Osgood, at some point in conversation, probably within the first few sentences. I expect they'll appear frequently in this blog. The people I used to speak about the most still show up regularly in my conversation, but the ones I spend the most time with now are mentioned frequently. It's not that some are more favoured than others (they're all my favourites! hehe), merely that they take up the biggest chunk of my life.
You do have to be careful, though. When you talk about one person more than others, people can get the wrong idea. (I'll have to be careful when I find the right man...LOL) Or they can be just plain bored. But as long as you stop short of boring people, it is a natural process. So natural, in fact, that you can always tell where a person is at by what or whom they talk about.
I have the privilege of hanging out with people who love to spend time with God. Frequently the conversation is turned or started with, "God told me..." or "The Holy Spirit showed me..." or "I asked Jesus this morning..." or "I read in [a passage of Scripture]..." They are happy to talk about what God is doing in their lives. Because I want God to be absolute first in my life, these things are a huge encouragement to me. My favourite ones are, "I had to repent this morning..." and, "What did God say to you?" The former (and rare) statement assures me that someone I honour and whose example I follow is still very human, maintains humility before God, and is prepared to lead by example. The latter (and frequent) question has been highly effective in motivating me into a deeper relationship with God. It can be a little disheartening to answer, "God didn't say anything to me today," but it's downright embarrassing to say, "Um, well, I haven't really been listening to Him." Far better to be able to forestall the question completely by saying, "I had an amazing/interesting/wonderful time with God today...!"
I think I have good reason for talking about these people with others, because it usually goes with talking with others about what God is doing, and there really is no better conversation than a topic that glorifies God. Further, through it I am learning to ask others, "What's God doing in your life?" This really enhances Philippians 4:8 where it says, "Whatsoever things are true...honest...just...pure...lovely...of good report, if there be any virtue...praise, think on these things."
My favourite people show up in my conversation because I want other people to be blessed as I have been blessed. For example, I love my family, and I always wish I could introduce them all to all the other people I meet along life's road. Part of the reason is because they are a part of me, and have had an effect on who I am. To know them, is to know me a little better. Surely God should appear in our conversation for the same reasons! If we know Jesus as we say we do, shouldn't we want other people to know Him too? If you don't want others to know Him, perhaps you don't know Him either. If your ultimate aim is to do and be what God wants you to do and be, then that should come out in your conversation.
I challenge you to take a look at what and who show up in your conversation. Do your favourite topics motivate you and others into a deeper relationship with Jesus ... or with the world?
Psalm 19:14 "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer."
01 April, 2010
Expectancy builds...
Yesterday I was pleasantly tired, lazy, and relaxed, with an occasional current of excitement running up through my stomach. Today I'm in much the same state, but the current of excitement has become like one of those bouncing screen-savers, except quite a fast one. Zing! Zing! Zing!
When the current becomes the good kind of butterflies...
When the current becomes the good kind of butterflies...
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