Autumn is making its presence felt. Colder temperatures make extra blankets on the bed and a warm fire in the lounge necessary comforts. I am sitting by the latter doing what has this morning been labeled 'knitting'. Cross-stitch and computer at the same time: "cross two, backstitch four, type to the end of the line"...! Lol. It actually works quite well. I stitch while I think, then when I've thought enough, I type. And then when I run out of thoughts to type, I stitch and think some more.
Chocolate (with thanks for people who give tasty gifts) along with a hot milo rounds out that cosy feeling.
But nothing compares to that Peace that passes understanding. Nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, compares to the peace and joy of walking with God. Though circumstances and choices made seem to defy reason and sense, yet the peace within gives a certain knowing that all is right between me and God, and I'm exactly where He wants me to be, doing what He wants me to be doing.
I will not walk the way others walk, and none can walk my walk. Each must walk as God leads. That's what personal faith is. If you haven't got complete peace about doing something, don't do it! That's what being shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace is all about. If you're not standing firm in the peace of God, you're on shaky ground, and will fall before you can fight.
Psalm 34:14, "Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it."
18 March, 2010
16 March, 2010
Life Is Grand
The sky is blue, the hedge is green with delicate white (jasmine) and and not-so-delicate pink (geranium) flowers, the sun is shining warmly over my legs as I recline on my bed, and I wonder what I should write here. In the next room, Shine TV is playing, but most of what the man (Joseph Prince) is saying is a blur, largely because of his accent. Something about Philippians 4:8, 'good report', 'think on these things'. That's rather a contrast to "Trauma," the recorded medical drama that was playing before.
I still haven't managed to compact all my stuff into one bedroom, in spite of recycling or throwing out a lot of stuff. Several boxes and bags are still stacked in the hallway.
Yesterday was productive, getting washing done, floors vacuum cleaned, kitchen floor washed, skirting boards and dishwasher wiped, laundry tub and washer scrubbed... lots of cleaning! Then when I'd done enough of that sort of thing, I returned to the book I was reading, "The Shack". I used to read a lot. I could get totally lost in a book and even calling my name didn't always bring me out. Books were my escape. But now, it's really hard to stay focussed on a story. I'm not precisely sure what changed, but perhaps my own life has become so exciting that reading about someone else's, no matter how well written, just doesn't hold me. Anyway, I am rarely to be found with a novel in hand these days, and completing one is even more rare, so for me to highly recommend "The Shack" says a lot. I didn't read it all in one gulp, because it was nice to put it aside and dwell on the images and thoughts presented while I did other things, but there was no difficulty in picking it up again for the next swallow. Yes, I think you could say that I drank it in. I would quite happily believe it to be a true story, though it is a work of fiction, for my own experience had already made introductions. Hehe, you'd have to read the book to understand that comment! But while much of it was just going deeper into what I already knew, there were some new thoughts provoked as well. If you haven't read it already, please do!
But that was yesterday. Today I'm being pleasantly lazy. With the load of washing hung, I went for a walk up the road late morning. There are paddocks on one side, and it soon becomes more country than town. I didn't go far, but stopped by a sun-drenched paddock and stood gazing at nothing much, enjoying the autumn warmth of the sun and thinking pleasant thoughts. Close by is a concrete tank on a low concrete platform, which soon became my seat. I sat for nearly half an hour, enjoying the feel of being in the country again, mind meandering gently, dwelling on a future return to farming, while my spirit radiated a quiet joy and peace. Those remain still, along with a delightful wonder at the presence of the Holy Spirit.
Does this seem idle? Filling my days with chatting, housework (when the feeling takes me or it is asked of me, which actually isn't all that often), cross-stitch, reading (Christian non-fiction), computer, ummm... what else do I do? Sounds idle to me! I sit - or lie or stand, however the moment finds me - and ask the Lord, "How long before I get into some action?" All the while I fill up with this amazing bubble of contentment, knowing that when the Lord does provide the means to go into action, there will be plenty to do and I shall look back on these days of rest as... days of rest! Lol.
Confused? I'll back up a bit. I'm unemployed. I have no money. I know God has led me to this point so I'm not trying to fix it (coz it ain't broke, LOL). The couple that I live with are unemployed (brought about because of direct instruction from God - and incredibly, God used me to give the confirmation of the timing - that was amazing!), and also have no money. We have been preparing for what the Lord has laid on our hearts, and now we await the provision so we can go into action. It is an extraordinary position to be in. It's one of those things that you shouldn't even think of trying without the Lord's direction, but if He tells you to do it, you'd better!
On top of that, I'm going to Borneo in a little over six weeks' time. Occasionally I freak out about all that lies ahead, but I come back to the question, "Do I trust God enough to let Him take me to the point where it is humanly impossible to accomplish His promises?" And my answer is always, "Yes!" And then His promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me. And that I can do all things through Christ. And that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. And that He loves me - unfathomably and inseparably. And I love Him - more and more. Ohhh, life is sooo GRAND!
And this post is way too long again! hehehehe
I still haven't managed to compact all my stuff into one bedroom, in spite of recycling or throwing out a lot of stuff. Several boxes and bags are still stacked in the hallway.
Yesterday was productive, getting washing done, floors vacuum cleaned, kitchen floor washed, skirting boards and dishwasher wiped, laundry tub and washer scrubbed... lots of cleaning! Then when I'd done enough of that sort of thing, I returned to the book I was reading, "The Shack". I used to read a lot. I could get totally lost in a book and even calling my name didn't always bring me out. Books were my escape. But now, it's really hard to stay focussed on a story. I'm not precisely sure what changed, but perhaps my own life has become so exciting that reading about someone else's, no matter how well written, just doesn't hold me. Anyway, I am rarely to be found with a novel in hand these days, and completing one is even more rare, so for me to highly recommend "The Shack" says a lot. I didn't read it all in one gulp, because it was nice to put it aside and dwell on the images and thoughts presented while I did other things, but there was no difficulty in picking it up again for the next swallow. Yes, I think you could say that I drank it in. I would quite happily believe it to be a true story, though it is a work of fiction, for my own experience had already made introductions. Hehe, you'd have to read the book to understand that comment! But while much of it was just going deeper into what I already knew, there were some new thoughts provoked as well. If you haven't read it already, please do!
But that was yesterday. Today I'm being pleasantly lazy. With the load of washing hung, I went for a walk up the road late morning. There are paddocks on one side, and it soon becomes more country than town. I didn't go far, but stopped by a sun-drenched paddock and stood gazing at nothing much, enjoying the autumn warmth of the sun and thinking pleasant thoughts. Close by is a concrete tank on a low concrete platform, which soon became my seat. I sat for nearly half an hour, enjoying the feel of being in the country again, mind meandering gently, dwelling on a future return to farming, while my spirit radiated a quiet joy and peace. Those remain still, along with a delightful wonder at the presence of the Holy Spirit.
Does this seem idle? Filling my days with chatting, housework (when the feeling takes me or it is asked of me, which actually isn't all that often), cross-stitch, reading (Christian non-fiction), computer, ummm... what else do I do? Sounds idle to me! I sit - or lie or stand, however the moment finds me - and ask the Lord, "How long before I get into some action?" All the while I fill up with this amazing bubble of contentment, knowing that when the Lord does provide the means to go into action, there will be plenty to do and I shall look back on these days of rest as... days of rest! Lol.
Confused? I'll back up a bit. I'm unemployed. I have no money. I know God has led me to this point so I'm not trying to fix it (coz it ain't broke, LOL). The couple that I live with are unemployed (brought about because of direct instruction from God - and incredibly, God used me to give the confirmation of the timing - that was amazing!), and also have no money. We have been preparing for what the Lord has laid on our hearts, and now we await the provision so we can go into action. It is an extraordinary position to be in. It's one of those things that you shouldn't even think of trying without the Lord's direction, but if He tells you to do it, you'd better!
On top of that, I'm going to Borneo in a little over six weeks' time. Occasionally I freak out about all that lies ahead, but I come back to the question, "Do I trust God enough to let Him take me to the point where it is humanly impossible to accomplish His promises?" And my answer is always, "Yes!" And then His promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me. And that I can do all things through Christ. And that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. And that He loves me - unfathomably and inseparably. And I love Him - more and more. Ohhh, life is sooo GRAND!
And this post is way too long again! hehehehe
15 March, 2010
Beyond imagination.
My heart is too full to say nothing! The image comes to mind of a cup overflowing, but this is no ordinary-size mug, it's a huge bucket, bursting at seams and through holes all over. It is a bigness of feeling that must be shared... an overflowing of grace and love and blessing that must not be contained but spill over others... a bounty that is too great for a fullstop at the end of a complete sentence...
I live in the now while looking back and forward, and my heart, soul, and spirit are like a tumbling stream, crystal clear yet unable to be caught and stilled, dancing in the sun, ducking into quiet, shaded pools, then gurgling merrily out into the sunshine again. Not all days have been like this - the past week has been much of a roller-coaster ride - but through all is that Peace that passes all understanding. I am shod with it, and stand firm, secure on the Rock, even when the storms rage and wild winds blow and all I can do is stand. But by the grace of God I outstand the storm, and can once again fight, or simply leap all over the Rock in delight!
I would that all would come to meet my Lord as I have met Him! The Father, who held me on his lap, curled into His shoulder in total security and love, while He held a conversation over my head with Jesus and the Holy Spirit...! Jesus... hugs, dances, laughter, quiet contemplation, facing fears, swimming, flying, working heart changes, grins, walks, more hugs... And then finally, I met the Holy Spirit, my teacher... instruction, creativity, warfare, walks, wisdom, laughter, swimming, hugs, instruction, warfare, understanding... To sit (in the middle of an indoor church service) on a huge log with Jesus and tell Him that I have given him everything, and that with all of my being I want Him to be glorified, and have Him respond, "Yes. I will be glorified."
Oh, this is but a fraction of what can be experienced! To the questions, 'How does God communicate with us? How do you hear from God?' I can now not only say, 'Through inner conviction, through verses of the Bible brought to clear notice,' but also, 'He speaks, and I hear!'
Often I had heard of such a relationship, often did I wonder, 'does that person actually hear Him?' but I doubted (though I hoped) that I could attain to such a relationship. Oh, believe it! It is possible! And sooo desirable!
Update
More changes! I'm still out of farming - for the moment - but I shifted to a boarding situation in Rangiora in January, then back to Amberley in February ... to board with the neighbours right next door to where I was living before! I'm booked to fly out of Auckland to Borneo at 2a.m. on April 29 (only 6.5 weeks to go!), returning to that same airport 8 months later on January 1st, 2011.
The best changes, though, have been in the development of the relationship I have with God my Lord. Words tumble through my mind, trying to put it into a picture that is readable for anyone outside of the journey, but words fail me. I'll settle for the insufficient, 'My heart is full.'
22 July, 2009
It's been over a year since I last posted, and lots of things have changed. The major one is that I'm no longer farming. I now live in town (Amberley). Next June I am going to Kalamantan (Indonesian Borneo) for a year. Before then, I am doing all sorts of bits and pieces. I've just spent an awesome week as a leader at a CEF (Children's Evangelism Fellowship) camp, and am looking forward to the next one in October. Roll on, life!
05 July, 2008
07 June, 2008
Another angle on my place.
Most high-angle shots like this are by the efforts of a young friend who likes to take his camera up trees.
21 May, 2008
I am blessed with grand and beautiful surroundings. Plenty of room to stretch the eyes, to see weather coming, and observe fantastic sunrises and sunsets, but without the awful feeling (I think) of flat infinity. These magnificent mountains create a visual boundary all the way around. I would find it difficult to live in a totally flat landscape. I love these mountains! The only thing I miss by living and working on such flat land is the fitness I had from running up, down, and around the hill country, and the joy of standing at the top and looking out over the country below. Can't have everything, I suppose.
19 May, 2008
16 May, 2008
A touch of winter
My odd pose in this picture is due to my having placed the camera on a fencepost at so great a distance from the quad that it took me the whole ten seconds to reach the quad after pushing the button. I was in the act of turning around when the photo was taken.
14 May, 2008
The red set
Red, glorious red! The scarf is attached to the jersey and is wide enough to be a sort of shawl or a hood. The red part of the skirt is embroidered roses.
Fancy boots
How's this for style?! I really wasn't accustomed to associating with my footsteps the sound of high heels, and 3-inch heels do slow me down some...but they are comfortable to wear - I wouldn't have bought them otherwise!
Credit where credit is due...
I would like to point out that I didn't achieve the changes all by myself. I had help from my advisory board. I'll try to get a photo of them to put here. Sometimes their ideas of style differ from mine, but they sure make shopping fun! And they're happy to be my porters, too. :c)
13 May, 2008
After #2
Shopping has become a joyful adventure! Actually, the shopping came first, then gradually the eyebrows, ears, and hair.
Hmm, that sounds like I've just acquired them or they've only recently grown or something...!
After
Changes to head: hair growing, eyebrows refined, ears pierced!
This photo is actually in mirror image because that's the way my computer takes pictures and it doesn't have the option of flipping the picture.
12 May, 2008
Before #3
...but that's enough 'before' pictures! There are other pictures of me in earlier blogs, I'm sure. There are some days when I myself cannot see the difference between the old and the new, but people's reactions have been such that I began to wonder, "Was it so bad before?" Photos, of course, are never quite the same as real life, but I'm sure you'll get the idea.
Wow, an update!!!
Not just an update - a makeover! For those who want to know why: 1. I got sick of being mistaken for a guy; 2. I was rapidly running out of wearable clothes and had long wanted to acquire a wardrobe that I am totally happy with (as in, suits me [colours and styles that look good on me], looks great [modest, of course, but feminine and fabulous...!], and feels great to wear [no electric shocks because of static from synthetic clothing, and they say clothes don't make the woman - but they sure help!]); 3. I got tired of certain friends either telling me I should wear this item or that, or asking if I would wear such and such...; 4. it was time for a change!
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